Why Every Boy Needs a Dad??
It's Father's Day, so let's start by asking, what does it take to father a child? 23 chromosomes. True, but in an age where science can literally manufacture sperm, what does it mean to actually be a father? All kids benefit greatly with a good father's presence in their lives, and that definitely includes girls, but most boys are the dads of the future in the making. If real fatherhood is going to continue, it's begins with boys in the here and now. We extol the blessings of "motherhood" into girls to the point where it's perceived as an inevitability from the time they are born. Unfortunately, boys and men get the opposite treatment, often thinking it "will never happen to me" right up to the moment they're holding their newborn in their arms! That is too late for the "dad training wheels" to be put on! It's time we start preparing boys to be the fathers they are almost certainly going to be one day, and start them young.
But who really knows what it really means to be a dad... than a dad? The best legacy a man can leave (if he has a son) is another future father in his wake, prepared to do what "daddy do" as soon as he needs to. Not all fathers are present in such a way though, and some that are only fall into the first category, the "glorified sperm donor" category. On the other hand, true fathers don't even need to necessarily "father children" in order to be fathers. Any good man who takes time to be a role model for children is a father figure. This could be a biological father, an uncle, a grandfather, a stepfather, a male teacher, a coach... any guy willing and able to be a good role model. They don't have to be perfect. They can be annoying and tell bad jokes. They can be silly and gross. They can be irreverent and witty. They can even be stoic and reserved. It doesn't matter, because all they have to be is true to themselves and try. When a boy trusts one of these guys, feels protected by one, feels cherished and challenged by one, he's learning a little bit every day about what being a "man" looks like for him. It happens at an evolutionary level, almost automatically. He's learning how to behave around "other guys." He's learning how to be firm and affectionate, what a husband and father does to take responsibility in a family, and of course, how to tell a lot of corny jokes.
Boys learn a lot from their mothers, and no child should be without a mother either. The fact that boys do as well as they do with so many absent fathers and deadbeat dads in the world is a testament to the intuition of single moms everywhere who do the absolute best they can to raise "sons." However, good single mothers know that, inspiring as they may be for their boys, their sons still need a man's touch in their lives, and they do their best to put quality men in their paths. In fact, some studies even suggest that boys benefit even better from that situation, because the men that single mothers provide their sons often have a better quality of character than biological fathers. Ideally, a good quality man ought to be a prerequisite when it comes to raising kids, but this isn't an ideal world. Let's not shorthand the importance of mothers in the lives of boys at all, but let's also recognize that one of the most important things a good mother of a boy does is ensure her son has a quality father figure in his life.
Studies show children of all stripes do better with a present father, but it seems only logical that boys stand to benefit the most, and are hurt the most if "dad" (whether that be a biological father or not) is not a part of their lives. Boys need a guy to "show them the ropes," someone they can feel comfortable talking to about "guy problems." Boys need someone to ask about "erections" and other personal subjects, someone to show them how to shave their face, and how to treat women. Boys need someone who has been there before, on call, to show them how a real man stands up for himself. They need someone they can identify with, to know what is expected of them as males growing up in a society. There's only so much Superman or Batman can teach a boy about being a man in the real world. If the only men a boy sees have bulging muscles and fly around in capes, how are they going to know how to navigate a shopping mall parking lot at 3am looking for cough syrup? Boys need someone to bring the "cold one" to on a hot day. Clearly, some things only dads can do! Some other things just mean more if you're a boy and you're "doing it with dad."
Dads don't have to be Ward Cleaver, and if 28 seasons of The Simpsons has taught us anything, they don't even have to be all that bright either. They just need to be there, be true to themselves, work hard, and do their parental duties for the sake of their families. Nature will fill in the gaps. So let's end on this modern day proverb:
"Boys need dads to sympathize with them when they take a groin hit, and moms to tell them it's not as bad as childbirth."
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