#HatchKids Discuss Male Gender Stereotypes
What does it mean to "#BeAMan"? Ask any kid these days, and the answer typically entails nothing more than running around going "GRRR!" and "RAWRR!" with with tightened biceps. It means being "tough and unemotional." Indeed, ask kids the question and you'll find out that "masculinity" is perceived as having such a narrow, hyper-aggressive, hyper-sexual, animalistic scope that nobody could hope to embody it for very long without getting arrested or put in the nuthouse. It certainly doesn't mean having the freedom to be who you are, like what you like, or wear what you want to wear... at least, not if you don't want to be called "sissy" or "gay" or get beat up. Basically, it can be summed up as this: "boys, you don't define masculinity, IT defines YOU." Sounds pretty rough, right?
Well... that's if you believe the expectations we're still feeding our children about it. Here masculinity comes upon a young boy like a prison sentence. His only chance for parole is to tow the narrow line and put any personal dreams of his away for good. But let's say you don't buy into all that age-old self-limiting garbage (for the sake of argument). What if being a man actually meant something more liberating and self-fulling for boys? What if they actually had something to look forward to in it, something tied to themselves as mature human beings, something personal they could use to define masculinity for themselves (as opposed to its rigidness defining them)? What if it (shocker!) actually had something of worth toteach them for a change (as opposed to justsell them)?
Few questions are of more importance to boys than what it means to be a man. Everyday they are exposed to cultural expectations about what this means that have nothing to do with character building and more to do with less noble things like selling beer, selling trucks, selling sex, selling food, selling exercise, selling video games, selling action movies, selling... "whatever." They don't get anything connected with a genuine expression of manliness they can actually pursue, just more meaningless hyper-masculine caricatures, often presented as some antiquated joke or "ideal man fantasy." A lot of this hyper-masculinity on display comes from cultural confusion about what being a man means that is then passed on to the next generation, and the next, and the next. Boys grow up generation after generation learning nothing else than how "being a man" means conforming to a set of rigid outdated rules that, if followed, would put them behind bars or worse. And unless we as a modern civilized culture truly think that "being a man" means hunting ten mammoths a day and bedding 20 virgins by night, we're selling our children on a hyper-masculine identity that is unrealistic and confusing, and leaving the next generation in the dark about just what is actually expected of them.
Luckily, this discussion is starting to be had. The statistics are interesting. The organizationSheKnows recently posted a #HatchKids video discussion about what kids themselves think of these male gender stereotypes, and their responses show these kids (both boys and girls) to be much more well-rounded and "human" than our culture expects them to be. Those surveyed below seem onto the fact that such unrealistic portrayals have little to do with who they are as kids and even less to do with who they want to be as men. Because seriously... if running around going "GRRR!" with your biceps out is all it takes to "be a man," then how does that make the modern man any different than a gorilla?
But then there's the backlash from the fearful and easily intimidated among us. Read almost any comment in relation to this video and you'll see a lot of primarily old-fashioned men decrying the "feminization" of boys (firstly, as if there's something conspiratorial and wicked about feminine-anything, and secondly, as if any deviation from standard, one-size-fits-all hyper-machismo in others is automatically a threat totheir masculinity). The very fact that many of these men seem paranoid that any personal deviation in other males is automatically a "threat" to them only goes to show just how much the kind of repressive social standard they're preaching has done its number on them already, forcing them to have to fear the "external threat" out to sway them away from something and towards something else against their will (sound familiar?). What a sad burden that must be, guys, especially since real men shouldn't have to fear getting turned into "sissies" at every turn.
Luckily, there's hope for the future in the words and expressions of the young boys (and girls) seen in this video. Being a man suddenly becomes a liberating thing, something tied to individual identity in the 21st century rather than being something eternally shackled to grandpa's outdated 1950's paranoid prejudices. Boys can say, "hey, being a man is about me enjoying origami!" "Hey, being a man is about me being a dancer!" "Hey, being a man is about me being a dad!" That's a whole lot more liberating and self-enriching than the prison sentence that comes with the expectation only of conforming to a narrow set of behaviors and inhuman standards. Guess what? Humans cry sometimes. Humans have feelings. Humans talk about their feelings and feel better as a result. Real men don't "fear feelings."
Ultimately, unless we grow and mature in our impression about masculinity, it will continue to be mocked and scorned into the old-fashioned, outdated, out-moded corner that certain individuals in comment sections the internet over have desired to keep it. And as an old-fashioned, outdated, out-moded set of unrealistic expectations, it will continue to confuse generations of young boys who increasingly can't live up to its repressive 1940s mythos in the changing current of our ever more liberated contemporary 21st century world. If age-old, fearful, hyper-macho masculinity no longer has anything to offer boys (born past the year 1950 that is), then boys of the future will increasingly leave it's repressive, fear-based, outdated expressions behind, and for what? Perhaps something that actually does "build them up." Perhaps something that actually does work to enrich them. Perhaps a little thing called personal fulfillment, without fear of the things grandpa was afraid of.
After all, masculinity should not be defined by "fear" of things.
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